I know we’ve had a tumultuous relationship these last two years and that communication has not always been our strong point. Often times, you send me mixed signals. But today, today, New Jersey, you showed me a kindness that I didn’t know you possessed.
Earlier this week, one of your sons or daughters stole my front license plate. I know you’re busy and can’t keep your eye on all of them. I’m assuming it was stolen and not torn off by meteorological wonders because not only was the plate gone, but the screws, the frame that held the plate, everything, was gone. It appears this person was in quite the rush because the back plate remained untouched. It also appears that this occurred while dear Jeff was parked in Newark.
I know you felt bad about this, New Jersey, because today you came through with an apology that took my breath away. After reporting the missing plate to my local police department, I headed to the nearest DMV branch preparing myself for every bureaucratic fiasco imaginable, a missing document, a form improperly filled out, or a dearth of available license plates that would require me to return the following Saturday. I also expected long lines and lots of attitude.
What I got were a couple of friendly people, a very short form, and no waiting in line. On top of that, New Jersey, the guys at the nearby gas station must’ve sensed my weariness from the second I pulled in because they were at my window to help me before I could even get the words out. These guys had my remaining plate off and my new plates on probably with the same deftness used to rip off the original plate.
From the time I left my front door to the time I returned home was less than an hour. It took less than an hour to process my paperwork at the DMV, get the new plates on and return the other plate the hurried fella left behind.
New Jersey, you have shown your true colors today. There are days you deserve a smack in the face and your mouth washed out with soap, but today you saw that one of your adopted daughters had endured a very tough week and you stepped up and came through in a big way. From now on, if anyone, I mean anyone, disses you, I will do backflips to defend your honor. I’ve got your back New Jersey and now I know that you’ve got mine.